Making each decision just a lllliiiitttttlllle bit better than the last one?

23 Jan

When embarking on a new eating program, like Clean, it is tempting to think of your eating as all-or-nothing.  Either I’m eating Clean or I’m not, goes the train of thought in most of our heads.  As easy as life would be if everything was one or the other, black or white, old or new; the reality is, most things are shades of grey. And so it is with our participation and choices while following The Clean program.

Here’s the dilemma I worked through to accept the shades of grey:  Saturday was a long work day for me, and I decided to eat Clean all day as a way to prepare for the full start of the program on Monday.  So Saturday for breakfast I ate fruit, nuts and coconut; lunch was a clean version of sweet potato stew.  I worked hard all day, then decided to unwind before dinner with an hour bike ride.   By the time I returned home from riding, I was ravenous and light-headed.  Quickly I became dizzy, and I recognized all the feelings and symptoms of low blood sugar that I used to struggle with years ago.  In that moment, I knew that to feel better I needed food – preferably carbohydrates – in my stomach fast, and everything would quickly right itself.

So while the Clean program advocates eating just three meals a day, slowly and mindfully; I stood in my kitchen and shoveled crackers & hummus into my mouth until the dizziness and nausea passed.  In the past, when I struggled with low blood sugar (triggered by a chronic auto-immune disease that is completely under control currently) failure to quickly correct it caused me to pass out.  And after the fact, I felt really bad about myself for having stood in the kitchen, eating whatever was handy until the situation passed.

In the day since this happened, I’ve tried to rewrite the story in my head to tell myself I made a good choice given the circumstances.  I did not make the best choice; nor one of the worse choices; I made an okay choice.  I ate hummus and quinoa crackers; not a bagel or cookies.  In the future, if something like this happens; I expect to have a better solution at my fingertips; but if not, I’ll make the best possible choice given the circumstances.

Now the difficult part is not allowing myself the luxury of retreating from the program just because I’ve made one bad choice.   So here I am; showing up for another day of trying to make each choice just a little bit better than the one I would have made in the past.  And that’s me embracing the shades of grey in this program.

Suzanne Andrew is a Thai Yoga Massage Therapist, Reiki Master, Yoga Teacher and Anxious Devotee of The Clean Program.  Visit her websites at: or


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